Lost in Translation

Those eyes, eyes that with life or love alight

Sought outward, wild, and struck the heart of me

Like twin sparks of green flame entrapped in ice

Or like two spun rays of sharpened starbeams


In a single breath, a heartbeat, a thought

My taught heartstrings did play a quiv’ring chord

When our eyes first met; in them, I was lost

And o’er my heart, I was no longer lord


Then, ‘fore cold winter dropped its bitter bane

Between her and I for the final time

We met first, as lovers, one night again

And kissed on our love poem’s final line


‘Twas for her, from me; a dedication

But to her, it was lost in translation…


16 thoughts on “Lost in Translation

  1. catiebeach says:

    I think Shakespeare would be proud, great job!

  2. Is this about Everett ?

  3. Actually, her name was Elise. She decided she was a lesbian.

  4. Fat Amy you do realize 84% of all the comments on your posts are you responding to yourself… it’s kinda depressing.

  5. ahkrapp says:

    Holly crap Phillis! I’m crowning you the new poem king. I read this like four times. My mind has been blown!

  6. kchick316 says:

    I very much liked this whole poem!
    I wondered who it was written for if not for Esther’s mom.
    I noticed that you followed the Shakespearian theme very well.
    I would suggest writing more because this was very enjoyable!
    Strong word or phrases: When our eyes first met; in them, I was lost

  7. The comments in this >>>

  8. This poem doesn’t disappoint; it’s worthy of your skill & talent. I am delighted that you managed the form but kept your own rhythm, even the two final lines, which are sad and profound. The stress you put on “to” is perfect. Favorite moment: the repetition of “final” and the juxtaposition of winter’s bitter bane and poem’s final line– alliteration, assonance used well.

  9. jdog9881 says:

    Holy mother of comments o.o

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